My Narcissistic Alter-Ego
Hello, my name is Bowlby. With the help of my assistant, the ancient Chinese philosopher Yang Chu, I write this blog from my secret hideaway somewhere among the mountaintops in the Swiss Alps (don’t bother looking; you won’t find it). As you can imagine, the internet connection kind of sucks all the way out here but I think the Swiss government is looking into some kind of “digital outreach” program so that may improve in the future. Anyway, you may recognise me from my famous portrait painted by the hand of that so-called artisté, Magritte. Surrealism my ass, all he did was paint what was in front of him. And where are all the royalty cheques he promised me on so frequent an occassion? Nowhere to be seen of course, that shyster.
Anyway, having escaped that hack’s servitude I ran away and eventually ended up here, in the snowy alps. Obviously that isn’t the whole story, and perhaps one day I will regale you all with the spectacular rags-to-riches tale that has left me desolate and forced into a virtual exile upon this lonely mountain trail. Chances are, I’ll probably save it for my memoirs (look out for that in a Waterstones near you someday soon).
Needless to say, I came into substantial wealth through a variety of unnamed sources, and for the safety and security of my business associates I won’t reveal their identities. For my own security, Yang Chu carries out all the various day-to-day activities: food shopping and so forth. He also acts as my own personal scribe, cook, cleaner and first-class assassin. He’s retired now in the latter profession, but was apparently quite feared and respected in his time. Of course, he used a pseodonym back then. Guess he was worried of being found out.
